FILM@LXG: Pompeii

In a moment of weakness, and subconsciously knowing exactly what I was getting myself into, I decided to watch Pompeii... And I have come to the conclusion that a Paul W. S. Anderson movie is where all actors go to die. Let me explain...

You know Asylum Films - that production company that makes low budget versions of Hollywood blockbusters (eg: Atlantic Rim, and Age of Tomorrow)? This initially felt like a cheap rip-off of Gladiator, with an exploding volcano thrown in for good measure. 

The first thing you notice is, "Hey, hang on a minute, isn't that Jon Snow from Game of Thrones? What's he doing away from The Black Watch? And isn't that like, Heavy Duty from G.I.Joe? What's he doing with a strange accent and cheesy one-liners? And isn't that the Police Captain bloke from Grimm? What's he doing with a pansy haircut and less lines to say than some of the animals appearing on-screen?

But wait, that's not all - isn't that Prof. Moriarty from Sherlock Holmes? What's he doing being mis-cast as a spineless and ineffectual Roman leader? (By the way, the actor in question is Jared Harris - son of the legendary Richard Harris, who might actually be rolling in his grave). But the greatest travesty comes from Kiefer Sutherland, who obviously needed some spare change to take this role - playing a cliched cruel and unscrupulous senator.

In fact 'Cliche' is the operative word for this movie - you've seen it all before - so don't be surprised if you watch many of the scenes with a sense of deja-vu. W. S. loves his action sequences, so the gladiatorial battles are fast and furious - and the volcanic eruptions are actually quite beautiful. And quite clever.

Unfortunately there's nothing clever about the plot - our main protagonist's upbringing and means of gaining proficient fighting skills are all glossed over. After losing his father and his tribe, obviously he's got an inherent hatred of the Romans, but hell, so did most of subjugated humanity at the time... He also conveniently falls in love with the main female lead within seconds of seeing her, prompting that old 'unrequited/forbidden love' movie chestnut. (Her mother, incidentally, is played by Trinity from The Matrix, who obviously had some time on her hands now that Neo's escapades are over).

Having said all of this, again I must say I knew what to expect, and therefore wasn't as disappointed as I might have been. In the climactic scene, as fire and brimstone rains down upon the doomed city, I dare say a few budding movie careers will also go up in flames.

Pompeii. Better than a punch in the face. Only just.

FILM@LXG: Man of Tai Chi

Oh my goodness me - where to start with this? To watch Man of Tai Chi is to get a ringside seat into the near comatose mind of debut director, Keanu Reeves...

Hello, hello, is there anybody there? Keanu seems to be stuck in a world where the action scenes from the Matrix keep running and re-running, until the film itself starts to wear thin.

To say you've seen this all before would be an understatement.A typical martial arts film, where an innocent martial arts practitioner is tempted by 'the dark side' (played by a one-dimensional Reeves, dressed in grey or black), and bucket-loads of money - to beat all his opponents and ultimately commit the ultimate Tai Chi sin - to kill.

There is hardly any character development. There is no explanation as to the motivation of Reeves' character, and main protagonist, Tiger Chen (a veteran stunt artist from the Matrix films) struggles to convince - unfortunately looking more like a bow-legged uncle than a powerful young martial artist exponent.

Adding to the cast is a cardboard Karen Mok, playing a detective trying to track down Reeves' illegal underground fighting tournaments. She's got to be possibly the worst detective in history, always turning up late at the scene of a crime, and apparently hiding in plain view, so that the bad guys always know where she is...

What a film, what a film... if you're watching purely for fight scenes, then you won't be disappointed, as our Tai Chi hero is pitted against all other forms of martial arts, to prove to everyone just how powerful Tai Chi can be.

But after half an hour of non-stop grunts and groaning sound effects as they kick the stuffing out of each other, the noise can start testing your patience... 

To give this movie 2 out of 10 would be generous... All that's left to be said is... "Keanu, what were you thinking? Maybe you took one too many blue pills?"

WARNING: The trailer is much better than the actual film!
LXG

FILM@LXG: CULT CLASSIC - They Live!

LXG welcomes movie-buff, comic reviewer and all-round action man Nick Talbot to its righteous Round Table of writers.

Nick's expertise delves deep into the annals of entertainment history and he kicks off his column with one of the grand-daddys of modern-day B-movie sci-fi flicks...

 

"They Live" is a film made in 1988 & was directed by John Carpenter who developed the screenplay by combining two short stories. 

 
Often considered a cult classic, the plot revolves around a drifter who discovers that the wealthy elites who are major cogs in business & who run the country are not in fact humans, but aliens. 

The alien elites & their cronies are capable of controlling human social affairs through subliminal messages & signals broadcast from a satellite dish mounted on the top of a television station.

The film is a very clever blend of both science fiction & horror. Those protesting with the current Occupy movement would relate well to the film's message which offers an explanation as to why the majority of the world's wealth is controlled by such a small percentage of its population. 

In the film's case however the ruling class are aliens assisted by humans that have "sold out", to better their social & monetary standing, in exchange for assistance with controlling the general populace.

Carpenter has done a masterful job of portraying western society as a people consumed by greed & mass consumption, leading shallow lives fulfilled by trivial distractions - including magazines, consumerism, advertising & television.

To this backdrop enters the character referred to as Nada (Rowdy Roddy Piper), who discovers sunglasses which reveal the alien lifeforms & also the subliminal messages used to control the populace.

There is however an underground movement which is manufacturing the sunglasses & jamming the subliminal television signal in an effort to awaken the populace to the alien control. 

After discovering the conspiracy to control the population, Nada clashes with the authorities & assists the underground movement to destroy the signal being beamed from the satellite dish.

"They Live" contains some brilliant action scenes with gunplay aplenty & combines a deft sense of humor within the science fiction/ horror plot. Rowdy Roddy Piper delivers some classic one liners (including one judged as one of "The 100 Cheesiest Movie Quotes of All Time").

This film has it all - science fiction, horror, humour & action all tightly bound up with a social commentary where the rich & powerful are the bad guys & the poor masses are the heroes. Special effects are definitely B grade, but to me this adds a certain charm to the film which harks back to the drive-in horror/ sci-fi films of the 1950's.

Another highlight of the film is a well documented fight scene which lasts for 5 minutes with (ex-pro wrestler) Roddy Piper going toe to toe with Keith David (who appeared in Carpenter's "The Thing).

I must confess I am an absolute fan of John Carpenters films & I prefer "They Live" to his massive hit film "Halloween". This film certainly isn't Shakespeare, but that is not what Carpenter is about with his films. In my mind, Carpenter is the Ed Wood of my generation & is the master of the modern day "B-flick". If you are a fan of this genre I thoroughly recommend "They Live" as a must see.

****  

Nick Talbot

FILM@LXG: DROK THAT! DREDD IS BACK!

Forget Superman, Spidey and the whole cast of Avengers - being a kid in the Eighties, there was only one real hero, and he didn't come with any superpowers - he was just a hard-ass tough guy, who never smiled and NEVER took off his helmet... Judge, Jury and Executioner - known to us all as JUDGE DREDD.

Of course he had his Lawmaster (high octane superbike), his Lawgiver (multi-calibre supergun), but what drove Judge Dredd and his storylines was that of a man bent on carrying out his mission; single-minded, stubborn and uncompromising, Dredd always got his man, and never let his personal life interfere with his duty (come to think of it, Dredd never really actually had a personal life in the first place).

Gracing the pages of that hallowed comic strip, 2000AD, The Judge was the first of many memorable characters brought to life on that distinct, newspaper-like publication - Rogue Trooper, Strontium Dog, Nemesis, the ABC Warriors, and Halo Jones among them - all of whom I hope will one day get the big screen treatment.

Dredd has already been there with the Stallone-led 1995 effort - which had its highs and frequent lows. Although I thought that as a standalone actioner the movie was actually alright - but with so much mythos behind the character and a legion of fanboys expecting the treatment to remain true to the comic strip - every mistake and every element straying too far from the original was gunned down without reproach.

Of course the Numero Uno mistake being that Dredd was portrayed with his helmet off for most of the duration of the 1995 film. And as we all know - Dredd Does Not Take Off His Helmet!

Its taken 17 long years, but Dredd is finally back on the big screen - and this time, those in the know are saying that at least the style and atmosphere of the story are in keeping with the original treatment of Dredd. It's even been given a thumbs-up by the character's creator, John Wagner.

The ever-reliable Karl Urban takes on the eponymous lead role. And by the looks of the trailer, they might just have the fanboys raving!

Judge for yourself: